My Rant Diary: NYC Can't Stop, But Should It?

So, I write about one of my favorite cities in the world. My close friends know I have a love hate relationship with NYC. I love the ease and convenience of absolutely everything and the anything is possible attitude. The latter has made me the person I am today. However, what I hate is the constant need to always keep going and not taking a break, the need to have a nicer EVERYTHING, the need to have one’s social calendar filled and go to the hottest or newest restaurants and document it on the gram that this city emulates. I mean, it didn’t happen unless it was on instagram, right?

The truth of the matter is that I have evolved and the lifestyle I just spoke of no longer resonates with me. I have realized what is truly important in life and thank my time in Paris for that. I have learned to live a more mindful life and take breaks when necessary, and when I need it. And better yet, I no longer feel guilty about it. I firmly believe mental and physical health are closely tied together and your mental health can have physical manifestations. Reiki Master Kelsey J. Patel says, “We experience burnout when we become consumed with everything other than our own experience and the experience and the experience of being a part of the world as a human.” I’m sure if they did a study, you would find that New Yorkers probably get more sick than any other part of the US, or even it’s own state.

Another thing I have noticed is that I have been more prone to say “Yes” to social gatherings now that I am back in NYC even though I am not 100% about going. I felt as I was somehow devolving since I was able to say “No” to things without batting an eyelash in Paris. The good thing is that I caught the behavior and am back to managing my internal social calendar better and starting to say “No” to anything that does not call to me or is below a 7. Saying No is honestly the most liberating thing and has helped my mental and physical health immensely.

Another thing that I have noticed more moving back here is the constant need for consumption. The way people consume things here is almost like an addiction. I mean, how many things do you REALLY need? When I moved to Paris, I put all my “NY Clothes” in a storage unit, which is still sitting there by the way (and i’m still paying for), so I’m guilty of it too. There is just something about this city that makes you think you need things you don’t. I’ve gotten better about this and pay more for experiences than physical things, but I’m not perfect.

I enjoy the finer things in life and do buy luxury items, but am more conscious about the quantity of purchases I am making. When making bigger purchases, one of these three questions needs to have a positive response fo—

1. Is this an investment in myself?

2. Will buying this bring joy in my life?

3—Will I use this more than once or twice?

ff the answer is “no” to the question I am asking, I don’t buy it. One of my exes used to say that people who shop too much aren’t happy. I laughed it off at the time and thought he was crazy and just cheap, but now I wonder if he was right.

I would have to say my EXTREME pet peeve these days (yes, it triggers me and I know I should mind my own business vs judging others) is the constant need for validation, whether it be on instagram or real life. A huge portion of the population here NEEDS things to validate their lives to make themselves feel better. It just seems like a sad way to live to me. There are people I know that NEED to be the first person at the hot new restaurant, and not only that, this experience NEEDS to be documented on social media. I mean, who the f*ck cares? Do I really need to see the same content of your entire life splattered across all your social channels? Unless you are the Dalai Lama, your life shouldn’t be treated as an ICYMI reel. How is this a way to live a happy and sustainable life? And yes, I know this is not just NYC, it is everywhere, just a little more prevalent here since we are the ones leading the charge.

Look, I obviously post on IG for my blog, but I do that to show places I love/approve of and my following will like; I post beauty and product tips, that I hope people with my same concerns finds useful; and I try to share some of my life lessons, hoping it helps someone else going through the same thing. And if anyone reading this feels I have gone off that path and am not serving that purpose, please feel free to DM me or give me a virtual slap. I do not want to be one of these people sharing self gratuitous posts and the last thing I want my followers to think of me or my posts is that I am not being genuine.

Maybe I have grown up; maybe i’ve just become more sensible, maybe I discovered the true joie de vivre living in France all those years. All I know is that I have outgrown NYC’s appeal and no longer want to live up to its standards. Don’t get me wrong, I still live here and enjoy the city WHEN I WANT TO; I just no longer feel the need to be out all the time and do all the things that draw people to this city. I love all the energy, spirit, possibilities and conveniences the city offers, but as for as quality of life and sensibility, think this is a place where people stay if they don’t want to grow up and move on.