In a time of social unrest and uncertainty, who would have thought 2020’s main point of contention would be Netflix’s “Emily in Paris”. If you haven’t watched it you are missing out on the only highlight (IMHO) of 2020. For all the naysayers to this work of art and satire of French life and American optimism, lighten up. Yes, everything is an exaggeration, but most of everything portrayed is true—take it from an American who lived in Paris for the past 3+ years. So let’s start playing.

THE MEN

This is one of the things that all my girlfriends called me about immediately after they started watching the show. One of my faves “Do random drop dead gorgeous men really throw themselves at you multiple times a day like that? “ So, it’s almost like two truths and a lie

Yes, men really do throw themselves at you
Yes, it happens multiple times a day
Yes, They are all drop dead gorgeous AND financially stable

If you guessed that number 3 was the lie, give yourself a gold star! One of the things I noticed immediately when I moved was the abundance of men and the number of times I matched on a dating app. And unlike American Tinder, you actually met men looking for REAL relationships on Paris Tinder. IRL I met men EVERYWHERE—at cafes having lunch by myself, shopping at Bon Marche, during my walks at Jardin Luxembourg… You name a place, I probably met them there!

One difference between French men and American men is that they are not afraid to approach you and they turn on the sex appeal right away. OK, maybe they don’t really turn it on, as I think the French are naturally flirtatious. My first few months living there I was a total sucker for the French accent, so the men were somewhat sexier to me. During my 6 week hiatus before I officially moved to Paris, I had one take me away to Normandy for a weekend and another to Morocco—I felt like I was living in a dream and wondered WTF I didn’t come to Paris sooner! They truly embrace the joie de vivre and the idea of romance—turn any corner and you will see people making out. In Paris it is romantic, but if you see it in the states, it can be considered inappropriate.

Another difference I noticed between the two countries is that in France, especially with most people over the age of 35, is that “dating” is a foreign concept. In the US, you really date—sometimes you are dating several people at once. In France, the old schoolers don’t do this so much—you are automatically in a relationship after a few successful outings (and definitely after you consummate the relationship) and there isn’t a need for a DTR. When you like someone; you like someone—it’s just like grade school. Saying that, the French will easily fall into a relationship, as easily as they will fall out. So, since we don’t know what the outcome is of Emily’s love life yet, I would say that the way they portray men/relationships in the show is an accurate portrayal.

Pro-Tip: I found it helpful to ask which arrondissement they lived in prior to the first date to see if our personalities would mesh. It was an additional filter to weed through the matches, since you really can’t get a true gauge of their true personality till meeting IRL. This method had 99% accuracy for me and would recommend it to my best of friends.

THE LANGUAGE

On this point, I will have to agree with the show makers again. If you do not know the language or speak it perfectly expect to be corrected SEVERAL times and to be treated like sh*t at some places. My first week there I was on a work deadline so did not leave my apartment. One day I decided I needed some fresh air so walked to the corner brasserie to have some lunch. I know the importance of French language and respecting your host country’s customs, so even though my french was not perfect, I asked for a table in French. The woman gave me a bitch look like no other and kept on saying she didn’t understand what I wanted (all of this was in French, but I understood). I repeated the statement several times, but she looked at me like I was a crazy person. I lived in Saint Germain and the cafe I went to was frequented by many Americans who were speaking english, so I switched to english. And she reprimanded me like a teacher would and demanded I switch back to French. Basically, I was saying the right phrase and she understood me, but I pronounced one vowel incorrectly. I did finally get seated but was so miffed—I almost left, but didn’t want her (or the French) to win. IMHO, there was no need for that rudeness or lack of customer service—another line in the series, where Emily says “the customer is always right”. That statement ce n’est pas existe a France!

And to be clear, this was not an isolated incident—I’m not one to form a generalized opinion after just one encounter. It happened to me on numerous occasions and this rudeness has also happened to me in social settings including DATES! My most vivid memory is of one of my dates correcting the way I said “blu” for about 20 minutes until I got it right. Needless to say, there was not a second date. Honestly, I get speaking the language of the country you are in and am for it, but there is no need for this constant nitpicking, especially when you know what the other person is saying. I mean, when a tourist comes to NYC I help them, I don’t correct the way they say street or avenue or any word for that matter. Let’s think about the big picture, people!

Pro-Tip: Don’t let the negativity and constant correcting get you down—just ignore it. If you want to learn French faster, get a French partner—I know it sounds cliche, but really is the best way to learn the language. Just make sure it is your decision and said partner doesn’t inflict his superb teaching skills on you—this is the 21st century, not the stone ages!

THE FASHION

So, this one gets tricky. I worked for myself so did not have to partake in all the office drama and FAB outfits I’m normally used to. Being in one of the fashion capitals of the world, I did expect Paris to have more NYC fashion feel to it. The fact of the matter is if you were to just walk on the streets, fashion was non-existent. I still remember one of my first dates in Paris was with a guy who worked in the beauty industry and he thanked me for dressing like a woman. I was confused as he ranted that none of the women dressed feminine anymore (look, again, I know this is the 21st century, but I LOVE feminine fashion and dressing up). I told him he was exaggerating, but then I looked around the restaurant and was appalled at what some of the women were wearing. I mean, I get it, I’ve been wearing more casual clothes as of late, but this atrocity was pre-pandemic and something I would not wear to a restaurant.

Gender aside, the French style IN REALITY is more minimalistic—trés chic, but very minimal. On the other hand, American style is more colorful, more vibrant, more loud... The funny thing is after a few years of living there, I would notice the bright and colorful clothes in some of the department stores and was surprised, then realized most of their clientele were tourists. So, as much as Emily’s style was a little over the top “American” I will give it an A++ for accuracy. You can definitely spot an American on the street—-saying that, if you are from NYC (and not just because I’m from there), you may be able to blend in as Parisian, until you start talking that is.

Pro-Tip: If you want to fit in, go minimal with some basics. Add a designer bag, like Chanel or YSL for a statement piece. If you don’t want to fit in, shine as bright as Emily! After my first year there, I stopped giving an eff and started wearing colors besides white, black and navy just because it made me happier.

THE RULES

I could write a novel on this topic as the French have many rules and that is one of the reasons I started this blog. I do have a feeling most French people or Expats living in France have a problem with this show is because Emily does not have to deal with any of the bureaucracy—but seriously guys, this is a TV show! Who really wants to watch about things that stress you out?

Today we will just focus on formalities, which I don’t have a problem with, as It is just basic everyday politeness. “Bonjour Goes a long way”—This cannot be more true. Thankfully, one of my close friends came to visit me during my first few months in Paris and she was the one who educated me on this. She lived abroad growing up as her father was a diplomat so was accustomed to many of the French nuances. So, if you are new to France or considering moving to France, just be polite. It’s very simple. When you enter a store, greet the shop owner before asking for what you want. When you leave say, au revoir. As simple as this may seem, I did have to train myself into this simple etiquette as we New Yorker’s aren’t about the niceties—we get straight to the point. Here is some inspiration.

Pro-Tip: If you are working for a French company, the formalities go all the way into the land of emails. Reading a business email is like a novel digressing into how your weekend was and your family, till you get to the point. Be forewarned.

THE WINE

In regards to drinking culture there, or wine culture, since they really aren’t a cocktail country, wine is a part of every meal. It is customary (or normal) to have a glass of wine at lunch—I mean, you don’t have to, but I mean, why not? When I first moved there, I was starting to wonder if I was becoming an alcoholic as I never had wine at lunch back home, at least not during work days. I called my good friend and he told me, “You’re fine as long as you don’t go over two at lunch. a bottle at dinner, and a glass of champagne or digestif after.” Good rule to live by if you ask me! The one thing I did notice when living there is that I never got hungover—1-Because the wine IS better and 2-Because people drink to enjoy it, not to get drunk, which is the complete opposite of the US. Wine is introduced to you at a young age, as part of your meal and something to enjoy or enhance the dining experience. That is why there is no drinking age in France and in a lot of other European countries, because it is part of the culture. That is the main difference if you ask me, as I remember going to Bourgogne (Burgundy in American English) for a week before moving to Paris and was served wine at breakfast. Obviously, I didn’t because of my own personal rules, but there wine is welcome every time. At every hour.

Getting to the specifics regarding wine. Not only is sancerre a breakfast wine as Mindy states, but it is an “American” wine as well. I guarantee you that if you are in a group of French people and you order a white, no one else will order the Sancerre. As Pierre would say, It’s ringarde! or basic to anyone who has not watched the series. From someone who lived in France for a few years, there are much better whites. My personal faves are a nice Puligny Montrachet or Mersault. Give me one of my worst days and I will be a VERY happy girl.

I will also say that living in France made me prefer red over white, even in the summer. I gained a very deep appreciation for wine during my time in France. It really is the superior of the two and there are so many regions to explore. The access and selection to superb red wine is seriously one of the things I miss most about living in France. It is nearly impossible to get a bad bottle of wine there.

Pro-Tips: Speak to your local wine shop owner for recommendations. I used to go to the cheese shop first and ask my local wine shop owner what would pair well with the cheese in my bag. Sometimes I would tell her the meal I was preparing and get her reccos on what wine would pair well with each course. I got really good at wine pairings with meals and still do that in NYC, though dinner parties are limited these days.

If you are not into the whole pairing thing, just ask for a new wine to try. It’s a good way to discover the regions and what types of wine you like. In France, THERE ARE SO MANY, so why limit yourself?

Better yet, take a weekend trip to Bourgogne, Bordeaux, Loire Valley or Champagne. The possibilities are endless!

THE 24/7 RBF

Okay, this is one of my absolute favorites because I discovered this rule before even moving to France. I was on my 6 week sabbatical and I met up with one of my dear friends, an American who had moved to Paris for grad school, fell in love, and decided to stay. We were walking after lunch with my other friend, also from NY—she and I were just so mesmerized with the beauty of Paris and were just smiling as we strolled through the streets. My French transplant friend said to us, “Yeah, don’t do that. People will think you are stupid.” Both of us were taken aback because we couldn’t understand how anyone couldn’t smile in a city so beautiful! But it was/is true. The French don’t smile much. Another guy I dated (yes, I think we have established i dated A LOT in Paris!) put it simply for me saying that “French are realists and they believe that smiling all the time is fake. Americans smile all the time because they are fake. There is no way you can be happy all the time. Americans are nice to your face and not so much to your back. At least here, you see what you get.” A debate happened after that conversation. I mean, I think we are more optimists, and not all Americans are fake, but we will chalk that up to “You say tomayto, i say tomahto”.

Pro-Tip: Smile if you want to. It is refreshing—believe me. After a year, i would just smile all the time to piss people off, and of course, endorphins!

Exception to the RBF, the flirtatious men. Just make sure not to smile first ;)

So, there you have it, my take on the show. I think it was well done and in the style of all of Darren Star’s shows. There were naysayers to Sex and the City, but look how successful and iconic that show has become? It sold a dream to anyone not living in NY and Emily in Paris sells a dream to anyone not living in Paris. And to others, it is just giving them something fun to get them through the pandemic. What is wrong with letting people dream or escape? Watching the show for me was very nostalgic and made me miss my former home. Though my experience living in Paris was not exactly like Emily’s, because we had different lives, it came pretty close and I cannot wait till the day I can go back to my other home. In the meantime, I will live vicariously through season 2!

Leave Emily Alone